5 Ways to Turn Your Divorce Case Into a Train Wreck

There are plenty of opportunities for divorcing spouses to make a mess out of everything during a divorce case. In this article I’ll tell you about five things that will turn your divorce case into a train wreck.

Divorce is tough. It’s emotional. Your soon to be ex-spouse may also be a complete bag of (insert preferred expletive). Maybe they’re so bad that you’re considering doing whatever you can to stick it to him/her during your divorce case out of spite.

Maybe spousal retribution isn’t your goal, but you’re just so emotional about the ordeal, you don’t know

I’ve seen clients employ these five tactics with great success… if your goal is screwing up your divorce. Read on and learn the secrets so you too can turn your divorce case into a train wreck; or avoid it (the preferable goal).*

 

 

Consider keeping your nose on your face instead 

Doing any or all of these things is likely to make your divorce case take longer and cost both you and your spouse more. More in financial and emotional resources.

If you choose to turn your divorce case into a train wreck instead of behaving prudently, you’ll also have to wait longer before you can move on with life.

Notice that I’m talking about you, not your spouse? If making the divorce tougher to spite your spouse is your goal, you may accomplish it. However, you’re also quite likely to cut off your own nose to spite your face.

Consider as well that acting in these ways is likely to harm your credibility with the court. Bad behavior that calls into question your parental judgment or fitness could also negatively affect your child custody case.  Moreover, in some circumstances, the court could sanction you for contempt of court. (Your friend Larry is wrong.)

At any rate, if you act badly during your divorce case, you’ll cause major collateral damage. The victims likely to be hurt most… your children.

*Hightower Reff Law doesn’t endorse train wrecks

As you may have gathered, Hightower Reff Law doesn’t endorse these ill-advised spite tactics or purposefully turning your divorce into a train wreck in any way. We strongly suggest you not try these five ways to turn your divorce case into a train wreck, or any others.

These kinds of bad behaviors are very likely to harm the outcome of your divorce case and/or damage your family relationships. Most concerning, some of these emotionally driven, poor choices hurt children.

I hope this information will help readers avoid these mistakes.The client who makes well reasoned, rational choices, instead of emotional poor choices can be at peace, knowing their family relationships and children won’t suffer avoidable negative consequences.

 

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts.  


Author, Hightower Reff  Partner Attorney Susan Reff, is a well respected Omaha, Nebraska family law and criminal law attorney with more than fifteen years of law practice experience. For more about Susan, visit her profile page.

If you need help with an Omaha area divorce or other Omaha family law case, contact Hightower Reff Law today and come visit with one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

Nebraska Child Custody Relocation – Guide to Removal Cases

childcustodyrelocationIf you’re contemplating a move out of Nebraska with your child in the coming new year and you have a custody order in place, you’ll have to get the court’s permission beforehand. As the name of this article implies, these kinds of cases are called Nebraska child custody relocation, or removal cases.

Nebraska child custody relocation cases can be tricky. These are some basics to help make more clear how Nebraska child custody relocation cases work:

 

No temporary orders

Temporary orders allowing you to remove your child from the jurisdiction aren’t allowed in Nebraska. That’s why there’s a faster litigation process and final hearing than in a typical family law litigation case. A faster final hearing allows families to get on with their lives as quickly as possible.

Your contribution is key in your Nebraska child custody relocation case

Whether you’re the parent requesting the move, or the one opposing it, the more evidence your lawyer can show the court to support your position, the better your chances of winning. You play a key role in your lawyer’s ability to do that. You know your circumstances and your child best and can best help your lawyer understand the key elements that he or she will need to prove to the court.

It’s especially important that you communicate well with your attorney and work side by side with them during your Nebraska child custody relocation case. That will enable them to have all the key information about your situation and present it to the court.

Get a lawyer experienced in Nebraska child custody relocation onboard ASAP

Removal cases can be hard to win. It takes an experienced attorney to navigate the sometimes murky waters of Nebraska law when it comes to proving to the judge whether moving away from their other parent is truly in your child’s best interests.

Because things usually move quickly in removal cases and in the circumstances that typically surround the need for an out of state move, it’s important to get a lawyer experienced in Nebraska child custody relocation cases on board as soon as you find out an out of state move is on the horizon – whether you’re the parent moving, or the parent on the other side of the case.

 

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff  Partner Attorney Tracy Hightower, visit her profile page.

More information about Nebraska child custody removal cases is available here. 

If you need help with a Nebraska child custody relocation or other family law case, contact Hightower Reff Law today and come visit with one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

Changing Child Custody or Support Your Holiday Wish? 4 Things You Should Know (Infographic)

holiday-modification-mediumFrustrations over repeated problems can be a bigger deal during the holidays. That can be a pain, but it can also be a benefit in the long run because it can make clear to you things that need to change. Sometimes those things include child custody or child support orders that aren’t working for your family anymore. If changing child custody or support is your holiday wish, there are 4 things you should know:

 

In a Nebraska child support modification, if a parent is looking to reduce the child support they owe because their income has gone down, the court will look at what caused their income decrease. The court will also look at whether the parent caused it on purpose.

Unfitness not a necessity for changing child custody

You don’t have to prove that the other parent is unfit for the judge to grant a custody modification. Showing that changing child custody is in the child’s best interests may get the job done. For example, the court may find that changing child custody is in the child’s best interests if the parent with primary custody is no longer giving the child a stable living environment.

The court’s decision will turn on the very specific, individual facts of your case, and the needs of your children. Your attorney’s skill in clearly and effectively showing the court those things is critical.

Experienced legal support is essential

Choosing the right attorney for a Nebraska child custody modification or Nebraska child support modification is crucial. It’s also crucial to your peace of mind during what can be a long court proceeding. Having an attorney in your corner you are confident in, who gives you clear information and who is committed to your case is key.

Also remember that experience goes a long way. When you choose your attorney for your child custody modification case or child support modification case, look for a lawyer who works daily in this specialized area of the law.

Look also for a lawyer who’s familiar with the judges in your area, and how they may view the facts of your case. While no attorney has a crystal ball, or can guarantee the outcome of a case, familiarity with “the bench” in the county where your case will be heard can help your attorney know how to approach your case in the most effective way.

 

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff  Partner Attorney Susan Reff, visit her profile page.

Find out more about how Hightower Reff can help with custody and support modification. 

If you need help with a child custody modification case, or a support modification case, contact Hightower Reff Law todayand come visit with one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

Reasons to Consider Settling Your Nebraska Family Law Case Out of Court

img_3340Divorce, child custody, and other family law cases are among the most emotionally intense kinds of litigation. There are several sound reasons to consider settling your Nebraska family law case out of court.

Court proceedings aren’t punishment

Going to trial isn’t a good way to try to punish or penalize your spouse for their wrongs. Nebraska is a true no-fault divorce state. That means that, in the vast majority of circumstances, your spouse’s status as a giant jerk isn’t going to have any bearing on the outcome of your case.

Also keep in mind that emotions can get the better of you during a family law case. It’s usually a really hard time in your life. Very rarely – if ever – does a trial do anything positive to ease the raw nerves or wounded feelings of a divorcing spouse or to heal a hurting family.

Different options, same outcome –  settling your Nebraska family law case

Whether you reach a divorce settlement agreement through the collaborative divorce process, mediation, or negotiations between your lawyer and your spouse’s lawyer – this infographic outlines some good reasons to consider settlement:

 

Additionally, settling your family law case out of court can save money in the long and short run. Settlement can be less expensive in the short run because it saves the costs of trial – which can be very expensive. In the long run, you and the other party are more likely to follow an order upon which the two of you agreed, as opposed to one decided by the judge. That means you’re less likely to have to spend money going back to court in future.

If you and the other party are able to reach a settlement agreement:

  • your attorneys or the mediator will put it in writing
  • both parties will sign it
  • the judge still needs to approve and sign a Divorce Decree incorporating the provisions of your settlement agreement
  • that Decree will be the court order that you and the other party must follow, unless the court modifies the order down the road

Not for everyone

Settlement isn’t appropriate in every case. However, in the majority of cases, good attorneys can help guide you along the path to reaching an amicable and fair settlement for your Nebraska family law case.

 

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff  Partner Attorney Tracy Hightower, visit her profile page.

More information about Hightower Reff’s family law practice is available here.

If you need help with a Nebraska family law case, contact Hightower Reff Law today and come visit with one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

 

Full Child Custody in Nebraska – What it Really Means (Infographic)

child-custodyYou’ve probably heard someone say “I’m going for full custody.” You may be surprised to learn what full child custody in Nebraska really means – and how likely it may be that you’ll get it.

When someone says “full” custody, they usually mean sole physical and legal custody. The infographic below explains both physical and legal custody in more detail.


Hightower Reff Law is a team of confident, clear, committed attorneys representing clients in the Omaha metro and surrounding areas in family law and criminal defense/dui.


The fall of full custody

One parent having sole custody (also called primary custody) used to be an automatic in Nebraska, unless a parent could prove it wasn’t in the child’s best interests. That isn’t so anymore. Now joint custody is the default, and custody trials ending in sole custody orders are becoming more rare.

 

Today, unless one parent is shown to be unfit, or there’s another reason joint physical and legal custody wouldn’t be best for the child, Nebraska courts are favoring joint physical and legal custody arrangements in the majority of cases.

It’s important to note, however, that the custody arrangement can me made to suit the needs of the child and the family – and should be. For example, one parent can have sole/primary physical custody (possession), and both parents can still share joint legal custody (decision making), or vice versa.

Regardless of who has legal or physical custody, each parent still has the right to access the child’s educational and medical records.

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff  Partner Attorney Susan Reff, visit her profile page.

Find out more about Hightower Reff’s child custody practice. 

If you need help with a child custody case, contact Hightower Reff Law todayand come visit with one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

Collaborative Divorce – A Truly Amicable Alternative (Infographic)

 

collaborative-divorce-hightower-reff-2At Hightower Reff Law, not only do we practice in traditional divorce, we also offer collaborative divorce – a truly amicable alternative.  Attorney Scott Hahn and I are among the relatively small number of Nebraska lawyers certified in collaborative divorce.

Why collaborative divorce is a truly amicable alternative

The traditional divorce process happens our adversarial court system. Despite the Nebraska court process mixing in alternative dispute resolution efforts like mediation – in the end, divorcing spouses often end up duking it out in court. Collaborative divorce offers something different.

Collaborative divorce can result in a better outcome for the family in the short and long term. This is especially true when children are involved, because the adults must continue co-parenting after the divorce. Bruised emotions and hard feelings from a bloody court battle can cause additional problems between the parents for years. That’s not good for the children.


Hightower Reff Law is a team of confident, clear, committed attorneys representing clients in the Omaha metro and surrounding areas in family law and criminal defense/dui.


How it works

In simplified terms, the collaborative divorce process involves you and your spouse working with a team of professionals to come up with an agreement for submission to the court to become a final order. You’ll need to have some court involvement to get everything finalized, but it will be brief and uncontested because you’ll have everything agreed upon ahead of time instead of “duking it out.”

Here’s an infographic with the nuts and bolts:

 

The collaborative process puts you in control

In traditional, litigation-centered divorce, unless you and your spouse reach agreement via mediation or negotiation, a judge has the decision making power. In collaborative divorce, you and your spouse control the process from the beginning and you have the power throughout the process.

I’ve been practicing divorce and family law for quite a few years. Through my experience I’ve learned that both spouses in a divorce are most satisfied with the outcome of their case when they’ve had input, instead of having the final order forced on them by a court.

When both sides are generally satisfied with the outcome of a case, both sides are more likely to comply with the final court order. That means it’ll be less likely they’ll have to keep dragging one another back to court to enforce that order.

These are some of the reasons I decided to become certified in collaborative divorce to better serve my clients – and why I believe so strongly in the process for the right cases.

 

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff  Partner Attorney Tracy Hightower, visit her profile page.

More information about Hightower Reff’s collaborative divorce practice is available here.

If you need help with a Nebraska divorce, contact Hightower Reff Law today and come visit with one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

Divorce Temporary Hearings – You Should Know This (Infographic)

divorce-temporary-hearingDivorce temporary hearings can be intimidating. Let’s face it – the entire divorce process can be intimidating. Arming yourself with information and having good support can make it a lot less so.


Hightower Reff Law is a team of confident, clear, committed attorneys representing clients in the Omaha metro and surrounding areas in family law and criminal defense/dui.


Our Divorce Temporary Hearings infographic fills you in on some basics about divorce temporary hearings.  If you’re going through a divorce or thinking about filing for divorce, this may help make the process more clear – and maybe less daunting.

 

You may have heard the saying “good fences make good neighbors.” At Hightower Reff Law, our team of divorce attorneys has many years of experience in all kinds of marital dissolution cases. From complicated, high asset divorces with children and family owned businesses, to cases involving domestic violence, as well as simple divorces with no children – we’ve done it. Our diverse experience has taught us that, no matter the case, a temporary court order detailing the rights and responsibilities of both parties during the divorce is an important “fence” to put in place.

 

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff Attorney Scott Hahn, visit his profile page.

More information about Hightower Reff’s divorce practice is available here.

If you need help with a Nebraska divorce, contact Hightower Reff Law today and visit one of the attorneys at the Omaha office. 

Sole Custody in Nebraska – A Snowball’s Chance

childcustodyThe lawyers at Hightower Reff Law in Omaha, Nebraska, know that going through a child custody case can be tough. Sometimes clients think that “going for sole custody” is the thing to do. It may be because they’re afraid of the prospect of losing the opportunity to spend the time they want with their children and watching them grow up in a meaningful way.

 

The prospect of losing time – or a full relationship – with either parent can be scary for a child as well. That’s one reason Nebraska courts have switched their views on child custody in recent years.

Not long ago, Nebraska courts almost always gave the mother what most people refer to as “full custody,”  unless she was shown to be unfit. In recent years, “full” or sole custody has become the exception rather than the rule.

Joint and Sole Custody Explained 

There seem to be some misconceptions about what joint and sole custody mean. One of the most common we hear at Hightower Reff is that sole custody means the parent without custody has no rights or will never see the child again. Neither of those things is true. Here’s what is true of joint and sole custody:

  • Joint custody
    • Both parents share in all decision making for the child and must agree for a decision to be made.
    • Split time with the child (or close to it). The cut off is whether each parent’s parenting time exceeds 142 days a year. Generally, to be considered a “day” the parenting time includes an overnight stay.
  • Sole custody
    • Only one parent has decision making rights for the child, except in cases of medical emergency when the child is with the non-custodial parent. Then, the non-custodial parent can make medical decisions for the child.
    • One parent has the majority of the time with the child. The non-custodial parent typically has parenting time every other weekend, alternating holidays, and one weeknight (that does not include an overnight).
    • Both parents still have access to medical and educational records.

A Snowball’s Chance

Just a few years ago, it was relatively rare to see a Nebraska court order joint custody unless the parties agreed and could show the court it was in the child’s best interests. Now, the opposite is true. The chance of getting sole custody may be akin to, well, a snowball’s chance in you-know-where unless there are special circumstances – such as one parent traveling a lot for work, or some other reason one of the parents is unavailable to participate jointly in the raising of the child.

Courts are listening to the experts. Many child welfare and mental health experts say that joint custody is best for children of divorced parents. In most cases, it appears Nebraska courts are giving that opinion of the professional community weight in their decision making.

Meanwhile, opponents of the joint custody trend argue it could be damaging to some children. They say there is evidence that joint custody creates attachment disorders in infants.  There’s also discussion by joint custody opponents that, for older kids, switching back and forth between parental homes creates upheaval, stress and inconsistency that could lead to problems.

Room for Argument 

While there is a trend toward joint custody, like any area of the law, it isn’t to be treated as a one size fits all thing. Nebraska statutes recognize that the courts must evaluate each situation based on the facts and circumstances of each individual family and make decisions based upon the best interests of the individual child affected by the court’s decision.

Don’t go it Alone 

In our many years as family law attorneys, we’ve found at Hightower Reff Law, that it’s best in the long run if parents can reach an agreement regarding their custody arrangements and parenting plan with help from their attorneys or a qualified family law mediator, but sometimes that isn’t possible. If you can’t reach an agreement, it’s important to have an attorney experienced in child custody cases on your side so you have the best chance of proving to the court that your custody proposal – whether joint or sole – is the one that is best for your child.

The earlier in your case you get a good lawyer on board who can help you understand and navigate the Nebraska child custody process, the more peace of mind you will have and the more likely you may be to reach the outcome that is best for you and your children.

This article should not be construed as legal advice. Situations are different and it’s impossible to provide legal advice for every situation without knowing the individual facts. 


For details about the author, Hightower Reff Partner Attorney Tracy Hightower-Henne, visit her profile page at our main website.
To learn about Hightower Reff’s Child Custody practice, visit our main website.